God's Will

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God’s Will

Many cancer survivors refer to a “new normal” life. As I start seeing God’s will lived out in my life, part of this “new normal” life is the persistent knowledge of my own mortality. I can no longer put off that trip, or writing my memoirs for the grandchildren, or passing along my faith to my children, or telling my family, “I love you.” “New normal” also means a full calendar with many scheduled visits to the doctors for treatments, blood tests, and scans. It sometimes means less energy, but the luxury of afternoon naps. It means limiting some physical activities like lifting groceries and laundry, carrying grand kids, leaning over the tub to bathe the dog, or running downstairs. It can mean a missed meeting or visit with family due to a low white blood count, which means my immune system is down and I would probably catch whatever bug is going around. It also means becoming more humble. I have lost all my hair three times. About fifty people have looked at my breasts and commented on them. I do not even feel like they are mine any longer. I have learned to live in the moment and each moment has become precious. It’s easier to do the important things, like going to a museum and having lunch with a friend, and let the unimportant things, like housework, go. Relationships with loved ones and friends become very important, and I have developed a deeper relationship with God. I have developed a deeper appreciation for God’s will in my life.

Living Well in God’s Will…

Today’s sermon was entitled, “Being Excited About God Can Be A Lonely Business.” Pastor John read 2 Samuel 6 about King David dancing and praising God in a loin cloth in the street as he accompanied the Ark of the Covenant upon its return to Jerusalem. David’s wife despised him for this “common” display of emotion. I was touched by David’s joy in the Lord and truly prayed God’s will be done in my life. I’ve been trying so hard to cope with the possibility of dying well, that I have forgotten the possibility of living well. God could give me another ten or even 20 years. I accept God’s will, whatever it is, and will cherish each day on earth, whether they are few or many.

    God’s Will -- Make Me Your Instrument…

    Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy.

    Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. -- Attributed to Saint Francis of Assisi
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